Jan 22, 2012

Life Lessons from Disney Villains

Disney does an excellent job with its villians. They're vivid, fashionable, and fantastic - it's such a pity that we don't get to root for them! 

Disney-villains.jpg

Still, even if we can't teach them anything about life, there are a few major life lessons that we can learn from them. Or rather, from their mistakes.

*DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A 100% POLITICALLY INCORRECT ZONE.*

Cruella DeVil 


She's foxy, of indeterminate age, and at the top of her field in the fashion industry. 
Really, there's no reason why DeVil shouldn't be as big a name as Versace - except for one and that's the one that cost her it all: 

Do it yourself if you want it done right.

Enlisting the so-called assistance of those twits (shout-out to Dr. House, anyone?) was her downfall.  Just catch your own puppies, goshdarnit.

Queen Grimhilde


Okay, I have to admit it - she really isn't one of my favorite villians. 

I mean, come on, she:

   * Talks to a mirror
   * Doesn't seem to understand that beauty is subjective
   * Won't own up to the fact that she's had some serious work done. Hello, botox addict much? And I smell a nose job, some work on her cheekbones, and a boob job. But that's just me
   * Wears the same ugly dress day in and day out even though she's a freaking queen
   * Is trying to trend capes. Sorry, even Superman couldn't make that hot
   * Also needs to do it herself (see above). It serves her right that she ended up with the wrong heart

Still, there is one thing that you can learn from old Queen Grimhilde. 

Go easy on the make-up or you'll look like a drag queen.

I tend to stick to mascara, lip balm/gloss, and occasionally eye liner/shadow if I'm going to wear make-up at all. Maybe if she hadn't been trying to single-handedly keep MAC afloat, she would have had a little money left over for a new dress.

Lady Tremaine


We all know the type - she's the kind of socialite who, despite being somewhat past her best-by date, doesn't put aside her ambitions. Her ambitions are a little HarvardHoochie-ish, but such ambitions were appropriate to the time. It's not like she could have run for president. 

Still, she's good at dressing in a figure-flattering way, getting things done, aiming high, and rocking gray hair. She just forgot one thing.

Choose your allies well.

Cinderella was a total sweetheart, not to mention a bit of a push-over, so Lady Tremaine could have totally buddied up to her. Had she allied herself with Cinderella instead, she'd be the stepmother of the future queen. She was just too hung up on that blood relation thing to realize that nothing was going to come of investing in talentless tarts (even if they're your daughters). 

The Queen of Hearts


In the modern version, she rocks a Lady Gaga-ish sense of style and similar eccentricities. 
So why is Lady Gaga successful beyond belief and the Queen of Hearts isn't known for much of anything other than beheading people?

Don't be a bitch.

At least, not always. Sometimes, it's just necessary. But sometimes we all just really need to take a step back and realize that (a) it's not all about the ego, and (b) even if it were, the ego won't get anything if he/she/it doesn't learn teamwork.

Maleficent


She doesn't let people walk all over her (or exclude her from The It Party), goes against the stream with her unique pet, and understands color accenting. 
But she's guilty of something that proves to be the downfall of countless villains in movies and fairytales (not to mention college students during finals week):

Don't procrastinate.

If she hadn't been all 'oh, I'll take care of the little wench later,' Sleeping Beauty wouldn't have triumphed. So if you want something to get done, do it NOW. You can always TiVo ANTM. 

Mother Gothel


She's creative, sings well, can pull off a gown and curls really well, and is The Independent Woman. 
But she fails to

Age gracefully.

There's nothing wrong with getting old, just admit it when you do. Think Betty White, not Janice Dickinson. As Kirstie Alley says, plastic surgery doesn't make you look younger, just weirder.

Have fun while you're  young and enjoy it while you have it - don't just hurry through your life trying to graduate earlier, get a job earlier, make a difference earlier. There's nothing wrong with having ambition and working hard, if you don't forget to live in the moment, too. 

Am I right or am I right?

I hope I didn't miss your favorite villain!

Do you ever root for the bad guy?

Who's your favorite villain?

15 comments:

  1. Haha great post!

    I’d love it if you would stop by Tulips&Tulle sometime!

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  2. I love your analysis! I absolutely agree with you about Queen Grimhilde! But at least she's "easy to hate" since she's such a strong opposite to Snow White :P

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  3. There are some pretty tweezed eyebrows among the Disney villains...I don't know, but the look creeps me out.

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  4. Hahah this was the most entertaining post like ever. My favorite is Curella! Just cause I like her hair. It's so unique! But I definitely did learn something from all these villains especially since you pointed them out. Too funny! :)

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  5. You did such a great job and i had a lot of fun reading this post but my fave cillain is Ursula of the Little Mermaid! She reminds me of someone I know

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  6. Oh,girl,I LOVE this post! Awesome idea,really - it made me smile so brightly! :D
    Your comment on queen Grimhilde is priceless... But it's true,all that makeup doesn't suit her well at all,haha! ;)
    My favorite Disney villain is Ursula from The little mermaid though! She's got purple skin AND tentacles - come on,who can beat this?!

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    1. Yay, glad it made you smile! :) I don't know. Purple skin is a maybe, but I don't think I could pull of tentacles. :P

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  7. BAHAHA. I'm dying over here. Your posts are seriously making me laugh so much. Ursala was by far my favorite villian. HA.

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    1. Thanks, it's good to know that my procrastination is constructive. :P Ursula is one popular villain, I had no idea!

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