Dec 21, 2013

Worst Christmas Presents

It's the thought that counts, right? I guess so, but I am inclined to believe that there's a connection between quality of gift (not necessarily thought) and the price put into it.

While any gift at all is a gesture of goodwill and a nice thing to give/receive, there are some gifts that you might really want to rethink. Or they'll be regifted (or regifted to the store where you bought them).

Underwear or socks.

Both can be a good gift if there's something special about them - like they're sparkly or super adorable or they're striped colorful knee-highs for a friend who loves wacky socks. But no one wants to find something as utilitarian as a pack of Hanes plain granny panties under the tree.

boy unwrapping underwear scowl
I will make that face. No joke.
I wouldn't even want something that utilitarian ever, never mind on as fun a day as Christmas.

A star.

This one is even worse than the charitable donation gift (I know, I know - it's a nice thing to do, blah, blah, blah. I'm all for being charitable in general, but donating to an organization and calling that a gift to someone else seems like a real cop out to me. Some people might like it, but...really?).

Unlike the charitable donation gift, a star or a mile on the moon don't even do good for someone else. and they're lame gifts that are essentially non-gifts. If I wanted to name a star after myself, I could do it myself without the questionable paperwork from whatever scam.com website prints those certificates.

The battery-powered thing without batteries.

Here, the gift itself isn't the problem. It's the lack of thought! If you're gifting a camera, a battery-powered toy, or anything else that won't function without batteries, make sure that you include at least enough batteries to power the thing through the obligatory Christmas morning test run.
No Christmas Batteries - NobleWorks - Funny Christmas Card
Otherwise it ends up getting shoved into a drawer until someone finally remembers to pick up batters well into the New Year. Around our house, you can usually count on that not being before mid-March!

Gimmicky Sky Mall gifts.

Gimmicky gifts can be good for a laugh when you open them, but just about no one actually wants that stuff.

Worst gift ever?

Thank goodness for the internet, where you can laugh about this stuff without actually being the sucker stuck with the gift or the awful gifter stuck with the reputation for gifting that stuff.

Any sort of underhanded compliment-type gift.

Basically, don't give anyone something that suggests there's a fault you would like to work on.


Example: if your roommate isn't very good about cleaning, you can't give her a Swiffer or a broom for Christmas.

Well, you could. But that's a gift that could leave more hostile giver-recipient relations than no gift at all.

What's the worst gift you've ever received?

Have you ever given a truly awful gift?

What percentage of your holiday shopping do you have left to do?

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