Jul 3, 2014

5 Roommate Archetypes

Hopefully you aren't stuck with any of these five (bad) roommate archetypes, but for humor's sake (and your edification, if you're getting a roommate for the first time - I'm looking at you, rising college freshmen!) here are some funnily awful types of roommates.

Funny if they're not yours, that is.

1) The slob.

Their dishes remain in the sink for days, until they become potentially important contributions to science.


Regardless of whether or not you just cleaned, every time that they cook the kitchen looks like you just cooked for the whole cast of 300. And then a tornado tore through it.

And when it's their turn to clean the common areas, they're conveniently unreachable/busy/insert lame excuse here.

2) The mooch.

This roommate is the pits. They have to be harassed to pay the rent and bills (every. single. month) and never pick up household supplies.


When you try to get the cost for half the supplies from them, they're always 'going to the ATM tomorrow,' but it seems to be more of a philosophical tomorrow that never arrives.

They're great at sharing food, but only when it's yours.

3) The paying half of a relationship.

It's understandable to have a boyfriend over now and then, but if you aren't sure if your roommates boyfriend actually has his own place and pays rent somewhere...well, that's not ideal.


Key signs that you might have this kind of a roommate situation are:

   - You can't remember which one is actually your roommate
   - Your roommate's SO still spends the night when she's out of town for break
   - Your roommate's SO has his own shelf in the fridge

4) The control freak.

It's 11:01pm and we agreed on no music after 11. Turn it off.

You used 51% of the toilet paper and I only used 49%, so here's a fair split of the cost.

You can't cook anything with curry, because I don't like the smell. 'mkay?



This roommate is exacting and controlling and starts to try to run your life and lifestyle to best satisfy them. Unfortunately, they tend not to appreciate you doing the same to them.

5) The social homebody.

This roommate seems to be terrified of leaving the apartment. I'm not sure what they think will happen if they go outside, but it can seem like they're borderline agoraphobic.

Bonus demerits if they work from home or are unemployed.

13 Roommate Horror Stories That Will Make You Want To Live Alone Forever

The worst thing about this roommate, however, isn't even that they're always around. It's that, despite their agoraphobic tendencies, they like to be social. And guess what that means? Friends over. All. The. Time. You thought you signed up for X number of roommates, but it's really X+5 (or more).

These guests don't pay rent, don't contribute to the household supply costs, and don't partake in the common space cleaning roster.

Who was the worst roommate you've ever had? No names, just bad roommate traits!

Are you guilty of any of these?

What is the worst trait in a roommate, in your opinion?

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